Nebraska kicked off its 2023 football season in a mostly immemorable slugfest last Thursday night in Minnesota. Gus Johnson’s signature screaming on Fox’s national broadcast gave it a Big Game feel, but let’s be honest, the football didn’t respond accordingly.
There were some positive nuggets for Husker fans to chew on — Nebraska’s defense looked solid, the offense showed sparks and the special teams didn’t do anything weird — but as the night wore on, bad things started to happen. There was that interception, that other interception, the fumble, the crazy catch and that facemask, all conspiring to leave the Huskers on the wrong end of a 13-10 final score. Minnesota’s walk-off 45-yard field goal felt as inevitable as it was deserved1.
And then Urban Meyer’s shiny face appeared on our screens, breathlessly delivering the news that the Huskers have now lost 14 of their last 16 games that were decided by one score. He went on to spew his proprietary blend of fake sympathy and smarmy glee as he explained the reasons behind Nebraska’s 2-14 badge of dishonor. It was too soon, too much.
To be fair, Meyer is very good at what he does: making half-baked proclamations confidently and quickly, leaving you uncertain whether you’ve been warned, mocked, reassured or accidentally bought a used car. If you were standing on the sidewalk watching your house burn down, Urban would wrap his arm around you and say “Man this sucks! All your stuff, wow. Looks like it’s almost done, though.”
To be clear, the Close Losses Thing is bullshit. Anyone who has watched Husker football the last few years knows that Scott Frost’s 13 “close” losses, like his other 18, were hard-earned through a lack of preparation and zero attention to detail. If anything, it’s a testament to Husker players that many of those games were even within a seven point margin.
But it’s too late now. Despite embarking on a new era with a new head coach, the Close Losses Thing has become Nebraska’s national identity. And it’s not so much the close losses themselves that get under my skin, it’s the talking about the close losses, the bizarre effort to characterize the Close Losses Thing as an organism that’s spawned from some sort of curse.
Why do people enjoy when Husker fans are sad? I don’t know, maybe they are just haters with pointless lives. Or maybe that’s what happens when a team wins three national titles over four seasons and its fans talk about it for 25 years, or when a school literally chisels “Through these gates pass the greatest fans in college football” over the entrance to its stadium.
Whatever the reason, the opportunity to throw rocks at Husker fans is too good for some fans to pass up.
Take last week’s Husker volleyball game played at a sold-out Memorial Stadium in Lincoln. Nebraska fans broke the all-time attendance record for a women’s sporting event anywhere in the known universe, making a statement about volleyball and women’s sports and Girl Power on a scale that none of us had ever experienced. It was an unexpectedly emotional night that united the sportsoshpere in a chorus of “THIS IS AWESOME.”
And, yet, even on that historic night, a handful of neanderthals seeped out of the woodwork on Twitter and elsewhere to point and laugh at Nebraska. They trotted out the old “this just shows there’s nothing else to do in Nebraska LOLOL” chestnut, the insult Husker fans have endured since the Sellout Streak began in 19622.
That’s just not how it works. People went to that crazy volleyball game because they wanted to be part of something cool and weird and groundbreaking, not because they were bored.
And I don’t know the people who tweet that stuff, but I do know that they don’t go to women’s volleyball games, and it’s not because they have prior commitments at the opera or a museum or whatever else they imagine doesn’t exist in Nebraska. No, these people skip volleyball games because they can’t be bothered to scrape the Cheeto dust off their bellies and roll off their couches to check out a sport that is athletic and beautiful and growing.
We don’t choose what we love. Nebraska fans love their sports teams, just like some people love boring insults and Cheetos. But of all the things to criticize a group of people for, their tireless devotion is an odd choice.
Husker football will get better, because it has to, because Husker fans won’t let permanent futility happen. Nebraska will win some close games this year and lose close ones too, and it won’t be because of a curse, despite what Urban Meyer and the rest want you to believe.
Much has changed in college football the past few years and nobody knows where Nebraska football’s ceiling will be. But as the ladies showed us last Wednesday night, Nebraska is too big to fail.
Let me know what you think in the comments or at fauxpelini@gmail.com. Or on Twitter, I still have that.
This loss was particularly maddening for Husker fans because we didn’t really have anywhere to direct our post-game anger. The head coach and quarterback are new, so it feels premature to get mad at them. Sure, we can blame Anthony Grant for fumbling at a terrible time, especially since it was foreshadowed by Coach Rhule’s warning that Grant was fumbling too much in camp to warrant the starting job. But mostly we have to just quietly eat this one and focus on wrecking Colorado’s day.
I guess these people imagined that 92,003 bored Nebraskans sprawled across the state on an August morning scanned the internet looking for something to do, collectively noticed that there was gonna be a volleyball game in the dang football stadium, loaded up their pickup trucks and set off for Lincoln?
Man I have missed this! Thanks Faux!
Spot on. And at least we don't have to deal with the schmaermy Urban this week... but the hype about Prime is about to make me puke. Still love my Huskers. Even when we almost always almost win...